April 26, 2017
When I got home tonight, it was already close to bedtime for the girls. I walked up the stairs with M and started the bedtime routine of snuggling in the bed, talking about the day and just listening to what she had to say. Bedtime is our alone time together. She can be heard at bedtime, and I can stay connected to her. Tonight she wanted to rank the people she loved. She decided she loved her teacher the most and then I came in a close third to R and steamed, white rice.
“I’m happy you have many people to love and that love you,” I said. She thought about it a second and then said, “Actually you are tied to my teacher. I love you.” I kissed her goodnight and moved on to R’s room.
If R decides to sleep with our very excited, rambunctious miniature poodle, I usually don’t lay down with her and have the dog jump all over my head. I make her choose. I asked her if she’s sleeping with the dog. “It’s a tie between you and the dog. Maybe you lay down with me tonight, and the dog tomorrow night.” I lay down with her, and we connect again about her fears and what made her happy that day. I kiss her goodnight and head out the door.
Not sure what to think about my ranking equivalent to rice and the dog, I reflected on the early days after their father’s death, and how M couldn’t sleep alone in her bed, and how they fought over me putting them to sleep. My drop in ranking meant their independence and their growth.